Have you ever felt like there’s something you were just born to do? You have an innate talent, and maybe you use that talent in your spare time or maybe not at all. If we have a gift, why would we not do anything with it? I hold my hand up. Everyday, for the last six years, I’ve questioned my passion. What is it I was born to do? I’ve been a passionate writer since I was a child, and I’ve been denying my dreams. I’ve been chasing other people’s dreams. Even though I was born to be a writer. That’s what I am passionate about. So why has it taken me this long to start a blog?* This long to pursue writing a fiction book? If you can relate, I hope that my story will inspire you to revive the passion you’ve been repressing! Here’s what veered me off my path.
1. I followed the norm
As a child, I wrote every day. I actually started writing my first fiction book 13 years ago. My friends in college were fascinated and incredibly impressed by what I had written. I remember submitting part of it for a creative writing assignment — I got a first and the lecturer marking it, remarked, “this is of publishable standard”. He was a published author.
I’m not sharing this to blow my own trumpet, but rather, that despite the amazing feedback I received, it meant nothing because I did nothing with it. I left it saved on an old hard drive and didn’t finish it. It was forgotten about by everyone, by me.
“I gave up an old habit that was good for me.”
I instead started focusing on what career I would take after I finished my degree, to ensure that I had stability and safety. I put writing to the side, and gave up an old habit that was good for me. I started trying different jobs, different roles until I could find the one that finally clicked. This continued for six years. I still hadn’t found it. But in the back of my mind, I always wanted to be a writer. In reality, I had found it, I just chose to repress it, thinking that this is not what I should be doing. This is not the traditional way of thinking, and I needed a job in an established organisation. So I kept on following the norm and was making my career my world. In actual fact, following what you love to do is sort of becoming the norm now, isn’t it? So I decided to update my beliefs. And I realised I needed to reignite my passion. I needed to reestablish that old habit of writing regularly. I must make time for my passion, and who knows where it may lead in the future?
2. I started comparing myself to others
“They’re so much more successful than me. Maybe if I try that, I’ll be successful too.”
I used to look at those who I thought were doing so much better than me. They’re so much more successful than me. Maybe if I try that, I’ll be successful too. Then I would look at what I was doing, and because I wasn’t fulfilled, or making as much money as others, it would make me reconsider what I am doing. I would think, I’ll transfer to the events department, maybe I should just learn the craft of producing leather goods, perhaps I should learn how to be a graphic designer, or maybe I should dedicate all my time to learning about trading and investing. This was all because I saw others doing it, and although they were interesting subjects, it wouldn’t be sustainable, because that was someone else’s passion, not mine. Eventually, I’d be trying to achieve someone else’s dream and end up being unfulfilled. Leading to the very opposite of success. I had the wrong definition of success.
There is no one definition for success. Success can look very different to everyone, as we all have different aims, purposes and goals in life! Even though I already knew this, it took me time to accept that my success is not based on other people’s success or passion. Having accepted it and finally focusing on moving forward on my own path, rather than taking a crossroad, I have a clearer, authentic vision in sight now. Comparing myself to others lead me to wanting to chase a dream that was not mine. It halted my progress, and created diversions.
3. Then self doubt interfered
When I finally decided to do something with my writing, self doubt interfered. Even whilst writing this blog, I stopped for a minute, and thought what am I writing? This is no good. What did I do next? Within the same minute of having those thoughts, I carried on writing, and I went on to publish this blog. I used to think, I wasn’t good enough. Self-doubt was once a huge struggle for me, so much so I would spend days listening to those questioning thoughts. And not following through on anything I’d started. And literally suffering at the thought of it. I always knew I was a writer but was I good? I doubted my potential and also had this belief that I wouldn’t be able to build a stable living out of it. So I chose non-creative paths, more realistic jobs with the promise of a monthly income — but no promise of fulfilment.
There came a day when I realised I could not give in to my inner chatter anymore. My self doubt was an old belief, and I had the power to transform it into self belief. Doubt is something that will always exist; but as long as I was aware of that, I had the power. I befriended my inner voice. I reframed those thoughts. I started persuading myself that I am good enough. I certainly wouldn’t have made any friends by telling them they weren’t good enough!
4. Now I’m not ready
What is ready? We say it, but it doesn’t take away the fear or the nerves. We can plan, we can prepare, to make us feel ready, but “ready” is the time stipulation we put on ourselves. I was stuck in this thinking, I’ll wait until I’m ready. Thoughts of not being ready made me fearful, and made me put things off for longer and longer. Until I accepted the fact that, I’m never going to be ready, for as long as I keep making myself think I have to be ready.
But I AM…
…a writer. I read an interview recently with Michel Roux Jr, a Michelin star chef, who said that being a chef was not his job, it’s “who I am”. That’s how I feel about writing. This is all I need to remember. Everything above just shows that there’ll always be something to throw us off our path, but it’s down to us to take control. Stop trying to find your passion, because you probably already know what it is!
I’ve been lucky enough to take my writing passion into my current job role, where I’m writing and optimising blog posts for a B2B business — Qondor. Most importantly though, I’m working on my romance novel in my spare time, developing that daily habit of writing creatively again. And I’ll be posting more about that soon, with some sneak peek excerpts too!
I’m also freelance blogging, having written blogs for a self published children’s author, a personal development coaching business and I’m currently working with a hot tub hire business based in the West Midlands. I’ll be taking on more clients — so holla if you need a blogger! I am currently running an introductory offer — 50% off per blog - including writing and optimisation, so take advantage and contact me at nsabbharwal@gmail.com.
Hallelujah, I’m on the write path!
Now, I invite you to fill in this blank. I AM…
Side note
This is my first personal blog post.* I’ll be writing more and more blogs, that I hope you resonate with, so click that follow button to keep updated! 😃
